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There's a very strong emotional charge for most of us on infidelity. Please comment on our increasing breakups in marriage today.
Hilarion: The purpose of relationship is practice for your relationship with God. It is a manifestation of this on many levels so that you may understand it and approach it and work with it in a conscious, very clear fashion. So people can get out there and write books about relationships. This is the right way to do it and this is the wrong way to do it, and even such books that can conflict, so that you are to make the choice in yourself as to how you approach God, how you understand the manifestation of God within.
Just at the moment at which you seek to understand it, suddenly it seems as if God has left you for another, and then you begin to recognize the symbols of infidelity. That in point of fact, no one leaves anybody--you're all on the planet together. You simply are seeking relationships in a new fashion.
"Oh, yes," you might say. "That's all very nice and intellectual, Hilarion, but what about the jealousy I feel? What about these powerful emotions?" Those emotions are there to liberate an energy that has been stuck within you for a long time, an energy that is not willing to trust that you have the capacity to love God and know God's love for you on all levels. Because when you have substituted the capacity of another person for such an energy, and it does suddenly disappear, it suddenly is taken away, of course you are devastated.
Just at the moment at which you seek to understand it, suddenly it seems as if God has left you for another, and then you begin to recognize the symbols of infidelity. That in point of fact, no one leaves anybody--you're all on the planet together. You simply are seeking relationships in a new fashion.
"Oh, yes," you might say. "That's all very nice and intellectual, Hilarion, but what about the jealousy I feel? What about these powerful emotions?" Those emotions are there to liberate an energy that has been stuck within you for a long time, an energy that is not willing to trust that you have the capacity to love God and know God's love for you on all levels. Because when you have substituted the capacity of another person for such an energy, and it does suddenly disappear, it suddenly is taken away, of course you are devastated.
This is at the highest spiritual level to understand this. From our level, that's how it looks. From your level it may seem as if something else has been taken away, something that you were dependent on: your energy source, perhaps, or your source for sexual release, or your source for intimacy with someone else, of course, symbolizing intimacy with yourself or many other things. This is not to say that you should or should not feel strong emotions when infidelity shows up. But what does make sense here is to use any situation as an avenue, as a springboard, as a deeper way to create insight for yourself, to understand what the nature of this difficulty is and to see that the tremendous source of energy associated with it relates to some aspect denied within yourself.
Ultimately, it will usually come down to trust. Working out the issue of trust and other things is very difficult, because on your planet, over and over, you are getting this wonderful powerful cosmic joke--that you trusted this particular thing would happen in the future, you trusted this particular way of energy, and suddenly things changed; even those things that you considered trustworthy about yourself. Because ultimately, trust never comes from something outside. It comes from an inner being. "In God We Trust" is indeed the axiom for your money on this planet, particularly the US dollar, so that people will get the joke and stop trusting in money. Gradually you understand that the manifestation of the deepest level of trust within yourself can show you that sometimes, in spite of all the energy, all of the difficulty associated with infidelity, as the expression goes: You're better off.
This is hard to understand, you see, when you are in the throes of it. That when the difficulties come, you do not see that perhaps it is exactly what you asked for, that you wanted the relationship to transform in some way that you were ultimately more nurtured, more loved, and that is not the person to do it. That someone else will need to come along who will fulfill such a role, and only by this powerful breaking apart of what was will you be open to that. That is not always the way it must be, of course. An individual can manifest sufficient transformation, and when people are willing to do this in ways in which they are able to change many aspects of what they have denied in themselves, all kinds of new energy is available, and a powerful relationship can be reestablished almost as if a new relationship between the same two people.
However, often times, the choices that one has made unconsciously around such matters stand in the way. This is where one must go very deep into the decision-making process to ultimately decide if it is the right course or not. Most of the time, the Second Image techniques we previously suggested will be quite valuable at assisting one in making such choices. But, if you also play around with various possibilities, really feel how they are, you may ultimately come to the decision in which you recognize, you've actually already made a decision, that you did it actually quite a long time ago, and all that is happening now is that the guides, helpers, and other energies have arranged things to get you exactly what you asked for. So be careful what you ask for. Understand at the highest level of consciousness, because indeed it may occur. It just might not happen quite the way you thought.
